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[15 Aug 2005|01:40am] |
It's that tiny knot you get in your throat. That impending fear that you'll break out in tears. You try to ignore it, but it's there. It's that fear that one day things might go sour. But, at the same time, there's the hope that things might get better. And while you're waiting for one of these events to occur, you start to wish you could live in world without heartbreak or pain. Where love always lasts and people always stay together forever. The kind of place where you see old couples holding hands and you know their "I love you's" they give eachother every day still mean the same after all those years. i guess ill never stop loving her, but im ok with that.
Bye-bye journal.
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[06 Jun 2005|11:37pm] |
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Chromelodeon - One |
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This weekend was really good. Friday was prom and I got to see my beatiful girlfriend all dressed up and more beautiful, which i didnt think was possible. Had lots of fun. She looked so great =P. After prom was a blast too. Beyond Depiction or description. It was like when i saw her there was this moment of clarity, like THIS is what i want stay with forever. Im not gonna lose this, this angel.
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[15 May 2005|11:57pm] |
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Chromelodeon - One |
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Ok Ok, i thought it through and prolly the singlemost greatest moment in my life was kissing my girlfriend rachy for the first time. Weve been going out for a good while now, its gonna be a year in about a month. which is crazy...but it should be awesome. shes wonderful. and the feeling we give eachother is Ineffible =).
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[10 Feb 2005|07:27pm] |
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Generic livejournal self complaint.
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[27 Dec 2004|02:22am] |
Hi Journal
Ugh it's like no matter how much i tell myself to get over her i just cant fucking do it. i want her back so bad it makes me sick, but like 2 parts of me are just in this endless battle. One part tells me that i should try to get over her and go on with my life, the other part brings back really nice memories of me and her together. i start to think what we had was special, and why cant we have that again. everytime i think about these things i cant sleep, when i sleep i think about her. i feel like a loser talking about this, but no one actually reads this journal so i think im alright. Things have been tough lately, i usually end up having the same dead end fight with rach about why we broke up. the only thing thats keeping my head above water is the fact that in a week ill hopefully be getting my license. ugh i have to go do something else that will keep my mind busy...possibly a movie, more possibly a movie by the name of snatch.
Good Night Journal.
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[19 Dec 2004|06:14pm] |
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I hate the contrast between my earlier comments and my comments now. Last night i got drunk off my ass, the only reason being to keep my mind off of her. even when im messed up i think about her, and when im sober i think about her constantly. right now my throats going dry and i want to cry. i think about how we used to be, and the way she was when we were first together, it was bliss. now id give anything just do have that feeling again. i dont know if what i did was the right thing or not.
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| I remember this livejournal thing. |
[02 Dec 2004|01:00pm] |
Mooseek - The Pillows - Bran-new lovesong
Rarely have I been put in a position where I have no idea what to do, but seems this has happened. Got a car, get my license in a month. When I can drive I'm gonna start going to the pool hall alot, because pool has got to be one of the coolest sports out there, next to E-gaming. I took the day off today, told my mom I had a headache all night and I couldn't get to sleep, when I like that it just comes naturally...it's kind've scary. I need to start a band soon...I'm an idiot for not really trying to make one work. I guess we'll see. Lately my girlfriend hasn't been in good shape, I guess all I can do is be there for her, but i can't do that if she keeps pushing me away, so I guess well have to see about that also. Time for some Final Doom, it helps me to stop thinking so much.
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[04 Aug 2004|04:59am] |
Music - DJ barthezz - Infected
Hey it's Nate, I got nothin' to say.
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[15 Jul 2004|09:16pm] |
Music - DJ Doboy trancequility volume iii
well today nothing much happened. i worked, went home and just just kinda sat around. i had to babysit, so i couldnt hang out with rach...which sucked. it kinda feels like my days not complete when we dont hang out. i found out we have so many dvds we really dont know what to do with them. and the funny part is ill keep buying more =). i must tell you this part in the trancequility mix is awesome...doboy mixes "We know what you did" by Svenson and Gielen and its pretty fuckin sweet. yesterday rach gave me the bruce lee anthology and i was speachless. i just kinda stood there, no ones really ever done that just out of spite get me a gift. that night all i wanted to do was hold her really close, it was so nice (kissing would be implied =) ). right now shits going good for me, im getting my awp skills back..and if u understand that u are also a nerd teeehee =D.
"Do you have a problem with me playing with my chicken McNugget??"
"No, you playing with your chicken McNugget brings me a huge amount of enjoyment, please continue playing with your chicken mcnugget"
good times =D
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[08 Jul 2004|05:45pm] |
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my parents are starting to scare me
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[30 Jun 2004|04:32am] |
dear mr. journal,
well its 4:30 in the morning and im not tired at all. well honestly i dont know which it is, whether im not tired, or just dont want to go to sleep. maybe it was the countless cups of dnL i had and the jolt gum. if everything goes my way ill fall asleep eventually and my boss wont call this morning, any other day id be fine working...but i dun really wanta work when im really tired. so basically all thats on my mind right now is how much i dont wanta work tomorrow and my girlfriend. but slowly the thought of working tomorrow means less and less to me. if i gota work, i gota work, theres no way around it. when im with my girlfriend its like theres not a care in the world for me. the feeling is ineffable. thats the word ive been searching for, ineffable. (in·ef·fa·ble adj. Incapable of being expressed; indescribable or unutterable) . And thats what it really is. an ineffible feeling would be laying in a pile of leaves with her, or in the middle of a heavy downpour with her in my arms. i feel like a girl when i say shit like this. u never see guys in movies talking about how much they wanta lay in a fuckin pile of leaves with some girl. but i dun really care anymore. right now life is good though, im trying to be smart and not fuck up or do anything wrong cuz if i do im 100% positive my parents will lay down some bullshit rule thatll make my life miserable. thats about it, bye mr. journal.
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[24 Jun 2004|01:06pm] |
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well yesterday was probably one of the best days of my life. all i could think about was how i didnt want the day to end, but for that moment in time we were on our cloud =). i feel extremely lucky that ive found someone who makes my this happy, and who i can make that happy in return. oh and shes a reaaaal good kisser too =D
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| Captain's Log #2 "Nate's a girl" |
[16 Jun 2004|08:33pm] |
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weeell today i hung out with rach, we watched rounders and starship troopers. also i asked her out today so i think were offically going out now. its been a while since ive had a girlfriend, and i forgot that feeling that u get when you have one. actually, i never knew that feeling, but lemme tell you its nothing short of euphoria. maybe sometime i will go into detail, but that might take days =O .
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[15 Jun 2004|07:41pm] |
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So this is my first time using livejournal. Should be fun 0.o
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